Time doesn’t heal but memories help

“The pain of losing someone you love never goes away” – so said a character in a recent TV drama. And it’s quite true, more so at a significant anniversary. This weekend marked the third anniversary of the death of my husband, Stephen. I’ve tried not to make any specific dates milestones. He could never remember our wedding anniversary and we always celebrated the day we first met as it was our life changing moment, but then he died on 1st February. It’s a date too easy to fix in the mind.

I have a few close friends who remember too and always manage to say the right stuff. My great pal David called, which is always special. As usual we talked about his latest pudding moment and we promised to meet for wine and dessert soon. I’ve reread the letter Stephen left me. He reminds me of all the lovely times we had including all the great meals he cooked over the years, with me as chief taster. He tried very hard but couldn’t overcome the physical and mental pain, and yet he wanted me to carry on.

So that’s what I’ve been doing with Hector.

There are lots of widows and widowers trying to carry on. Some days it’s harder than others. I’ve only ever been a basic cook. I could try harder but it was never my job! I do love great food and the company of others so I make sure I have plenty of opportunities to socialise over a meal. And I can do that with the people who are helping build our Evermore vision.

But what about those older folk who spend endless days watching the clock, waiting for the day to end so they can retire to bed? How can they maintain the social interaction, nourishment and conviviality that comes from a family meal together? These are rare occasions for many. And what about those of us who haven’t had children – who’s going to make sure we’re nourished?

Well, that’s why we’re on a mission to bring Evermore to as many towns as we can. We’re determined that good company, nourishment and that feeling of belonging can be part of everyone’s life. The younger generation are much more used to sharing space as students and young professionals. Let’s encourage our older friends to embrace sharing their lifestyle and domestic arrangements whilst maintaining their independence. That’s what we’re all about.

So on Sunday I gave in to a bit of indulgence, I drank champagne and ate chocolate with Hector (he had sausages) snoring alongside me. I know Stephen would approve and I’m sure he’s inspiring me each day to move Evermore closer to reality wherever you live.

Sara McKee, Founder and Director of Market Innovation

Follow Sara @SaraMcKeeFRSA